Bob…

No one knows when they get to meet new ‘people’ in life. You will soon know why ‘people’ is in quotes.

It is not fair to anyone when you are hungry and someone makes you wait for food. Whatever reason they have, the fact still remains, it is not fair. In this case, I was  the one causing the delay. I did not start cooking late. My  timing was perfect for once. I have a bad reputation when it comes to time keeping. And just so we are clear, there is a distinct line between time keeping and time management. I  tend to fall on the bad side of time keeping. But not that night. So what was reason?

A moth. This is what was going to make me a Dr. Stockman. A moth. I know it sounds like a small and harmless creature. This moth, I will call it Bob, seemed like it was up to mischief. I have no issues with Bob(s). Let me not be misquoted. Some Pamela(s) will swallow me whole just because I named the moth Bob. Again, I have no problem with Pamela(s). At least not yet.

Bob could not settle down. Bob kept flying round and round the bulb and on top of my head. I know Bob’s race are attracted to light. Somehow they all seem to love light. And you only see them at night. Makes me wonder where on earth they were during the day when there was light everywhere! There must be a biological explanation to that but I promised myself not to google it. I can not read any biology. Not anymore. That subject just never gets me. It never did. And I also believe it was designed to torture me. It was my personal hell in high school.

Back to Bob. Bob was huge. Not the ordinary small sized moths that are everywhere. No, not Bob. He had muscles (moth muscles). Huge muscles. I am not making this up. Bob was like the younger version of Arnold Schwarzenegger (or Commando, as most of you know him)

I have issues with the likes of Bob. They freak me out. Them and their neighbours, the spiders. I believe its called Entomophobia. (I know some biology things). I had no problem going on with my cooking while Bob flexed his muscles. Such a show off! My problem began the moment I couldn’t see him. See that is a huge problem. All was good when I could keep track of his movements. Not when he disappeared. I didn’t care if Bob was having a private moment. Dude needed to be found. And fast!

Just a few days back I saw a video of a man who had Bob’s cousin stuck in his ear. The guy was in serious pain. Bob’s cousin was eventually removed of course, still alive! And quickly flew away. Maybe the guy, just like me, had lost track of him and that cousin wondered off to areas unwanted. With this image still fresh in my mind I decided I was going to do everything in my power to find Bob. He was huge and there is just no room in my ear for a bug his size. Pun intended.

The search was crazy! I looked crazy. I still believe I am crazy. Somehow I just couldn’t stop searching. Better safe than sorry. I even switched off the lights just to scare him out of hiding and switched them back on to see if the light still worked its magic. Bob was nowhere to be found.

At this point, I decided I was not giving up. I had to gear up for a mission: Find Bob. Bob was a R.E.D. (Rough and Extremely Dangerous). Bob hides pretty well for a huge moth.

My attention shifted from cooking. I had to find Bob before he caused chaos. I was the only one who could do it. Lives depended on me. I was humanity’s only hope. I had to be brave. I had to face my fears head on. It was a one-woman mission. I was my own Captain. I was in-charge. Ok…now I am just exaggerating.

I did however gear up for the search well enough. I wore my earphones to cover my ears. I got a broom. Though it felt like a machine gun at this point. You know like the fancy ones that the bad guys in action movies always have. I was armed. All this time, people are waiting for food. People are hungry. As for me, my hunger was gone. I had to find Bob.

My mission lasted just a few minutes, which to a hungry person is close to 3hours.

I did find Bob, hidden somewhere behind the cooker. Creepy guy. Whatever it was doing there, only its creator knows. I did not kill Bob. He had to go back and tell his story. He had to narrate the tale of his encounter with a human girl. He had to spice up the story with some ridiculous details. He had to look cool before his mates. With his size I assume he is a certified gym trainer or a body building enthusiast. In his world of course. So definitely new stories at the gym.

I spared Bob’s life so he could tell his Pam about me. Pam would tell her family and the news would spread. No one from their race would bother me. They will never try to do what Pete (the cousin who loves ears) did to one of us. Because I spared Bob’s life we will have an alliance. Our worlds will co-exist peacefully. And he owes me.

I had handled the whole Bob situation like a trained soldier and the mission was over. No casualties. I had to get back. And back meant dealing with all the anger from the people. They were  hungry! Its sad that they will never know how I risked my life and hearing ability just to save them. I may have been toughened by that experience, but it was not enough for what was coming. I had to face my hungry family…It was time…They can be mean!

Currently, I am patiently waiting for the terms of agreement in the soon to be signed Human-Moth treaty. One of us will have to learn the other’s language. I guess the moths, they are always around us enough as it is. It might just be Pam. Who knows?